Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
