what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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