I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just found puke in my bra..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
