her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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