HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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