We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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