So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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