This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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