he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i will never coherently bang her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
