I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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