I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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