Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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