My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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