we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
