hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
