he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
