you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
