Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just pynch a tree in the face
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
