I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
