yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
