Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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