his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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