When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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