The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
