Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
