Nicole vs. Life
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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