Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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