She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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