Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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