Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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