Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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