I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
