i can't believe i had my finger in that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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