Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
