Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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