he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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