when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
