im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
