I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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