So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
