I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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