You smell like stripper and shame
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
