Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
