She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
