she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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