69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
