Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
