am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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