I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
