I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
