after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
