he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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