So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
