If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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