it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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