Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
